The perfect brunch food if you want to pretend you're back in your local Boston Tea Party with coffee in hand.

This recipe is very much inspired by my favourite sweetcorn fritters at BTP, as I roughly followed a recipe they recently published on their Instagram account. However, my recipe is largely adapted and will only leave you with two super tasty Thai sweetcorn fritters. So make sure to double up if you're planning on creating this lovely brunch for more than just your fine self! 

Ingredients 

1 tin of sweetcorn (roughly 200g)

1/2 fresh lemongrass

1/4 fresh ginger 

2 cloves of garlic

1/4 deseeded red chilli

50g self raising flour

pinch of salt & pepper

Vegetable oil

Method

I hope it's not too late to write some sort of new year type blog content because, well today I'm doing it. It's been quite a few months since I've felt able to dish out advice given that my life has been a total shit show, but what I've realised through the mess is that I've learnt a lot about how to take care of my mental health going forward. Which is exactly why today, on a bright Monday morning whilst I drink my vitamin C, I want to share all that I've learnt to help you. 

Set boundaries

Identify your boundaries in particular your mental and emotional and begin contemplating what you're willing to tolerate or accept. Prioritise your life and simply give yourself permission to say no. Think about your relationships, your happiness and general wellbeing moving forward and conclude any changes you can make to feel better this 2021.

I have an example. We all have negative relationships in our life we might've been unhappy in for a long time e.g. with an unsupportive or unreliable friend, a partner or even a family member. Well, this year it's time to let them go. To not let them take up unwanted space and cause continued upset this year. I've had to do exactly that in my personal life and honestly, it's disappointing but, letting a person drain your mental health in such a way, yet letting them take up space in your life is nothing short of counterproductive. If you know this individual is the only reason you sometimes feel a heightened sense of anxiety or impacts your emotional wellbeing in a huge way, it might be a tough decision to make (it certainly hasn't been easy for me) but, it's time the relationship either changes or ends.

If for whatever reason you can't let them go, just ease away and set strict rules surrounding how much of your energy you're willing to let them zap or, are willing to give them in future e.g. only seeing them for family events when absolutely necessary or, only allowing yourself to spend short bursts of time with the individual.

Speak kindly to yourself with love

Even on days when you don't feel the love, can't get out of bed or feel productive, there are still subtle things you can do to treat yourself with kindness.

I used to feel guilty on days I couldn't muster the strength to even shower, but I've come to accept that sometimes my anxiety wins and one bad day isn't going to stop me from having a good week. So, like the recent me, accept your mood for what it is and don't allow thoughts of guilt or angst to creep in. Tell yourself you need this time and try to set aside another day to attempt the things you wanted to do today. Be gentle, rise from your bed when you're ready, or don't. Eat your favourite comfort food, watch nostalgic TV and find small acts of good to show yourself some love without pressure.

Do more of what makes you happy / something you're good at

This one should be easy peasy! Or, maybe easier said than done sometimes? We all have those boring chores and mundane day to day things we have to partake in e.g. going to work, doing the dishes and making your bed. But, there are many many opportunities in the free minutes we have each day to step away from our phones and find a little calm in our lives through participating in activities we adore. For me, cooking is always my go to when I want to unwind, playing the Sims or, even going for a walk. But for you it might be reading, writing, knitting, whatever! Just make sure you don't forget to do them. Assign your time to even just ten short minutes for that hobby you enjoy so much. I promise you'll feel better for it every time.

Care for others 

Often when my brain feels overworked and my heart hurts, I've found comfort and joy through looking after those around me. Whether in my past life as a dementia care assistant or currently now, being there to support to mum or, simply cooking dinner for my partner every day, I can always find value in caring for others. There's no better feeling than helping someone else in need, sharing experiences, kindness and friendship. This act distracts yourself from whatever pain you're going through and helps both parties in their mental wellbeing. So, reach out to your neighbour, loved one or friend and just show that you're there. Even in these unprecedented times when we can't cuddle or hold a hand, we can still do small things to show that we're there e.g. sending flowers, giving a loved one a call or helping with their food shopping. 

Write down your feelings

Whether you're getting pen to paper, jotting notes in your phone or writing a full-blown blog post you might never publish, just getting those unwanted thoughts out of your brain and into writing can provide so much clarity. 

Living with anxiety for me personally means that my brain is never ever quiet. There's not so much a running commentary of everything I'm doing, it's more chaotic than that. I suppose, it's more like my brain jumps from thought to thought becoming more restless by the minute on some days. But, bullet pointing these thoughts or sometimes just words, helps me to analyse what on earth my brain is up to. Sometimes these notes turn into blog posts I'm proud to share and some, turn into never ending rants or letters to myself that will never surface online. Some even turn into short term plans or, lists of things to help me ease out of a vicious cycle. 

Regardless of what's going on with your mental health, it's important that you write! That you get whatever your feeling (good or bad) outside of your mind, in order to free up a little storage and take any weight off your shoulders. 

Decide who to follow on social media 

Now, this is a biggie!! I couldn't shout it loud enough... our social media is OURS. OUR SPACE. Our space to follow anyone who sparks joy and shares content that we're interested in. Follow those who are just like you or those you aspire to be someday, but if you follow anyone right this second who creates content that makes you feel unworthy or upset they must go. Right now. Scroll through the people you follow across each social media platform, including Facebook friends and say goodbye to any negativity. Discover new brands / bloggers / creatives etc and refresh your attitude towards social media moving forward. I promise this activity is the most satisfying thing! 

Ask for help

Don't forget! If you're struggling beyond words, continuously can't take care of your basic self-care needs or feel much more emotional and overwhelmed than usual, don't ever stay quiet. Know you're not alone and that there's a wealth of support you can tap into at any time. 

Samaritans: call 116 123 anytime.

Anxiety UK: 03444 775 774 Monday - Friday 09:30 - 17:30.

Crisis text line: text SHOUT 85258.

CALM: call 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm until midnight 365 days a year.

No Panic: for panic attacks, OCD 0300 772 9844 daily 10:00-22:00. 

Locked down. Locked in. Locked out. 

Snow begins to settle outside my house. I open the door and step into the garden to see if it's real, running back inside to warmth almost immediately. I brew myself a large helping of coffee in my favourite yellow mug and feel as though, like snow, life appears to float on by without me. 

I'm sorry for myself. I fold my body back away in bed and watch the Office US on TV. Hours later and I'm thoroughly awake. Pottering about the kitchen, cooking lasagna and singing my heart out whilst the weather still feels glum. Much the contrast to last weeks misery, where days bumped into one another, anxiety heightened by the minute and I chose to bite my nails off. I told myself that if no one is here, if no one knows I'm home, it doesn't matter if I don't do anything with my time. Those words sunk to the pit of my stomach and just sat there. Waiting for me to grasp that I should want to show up for myself, to admit that not every day is joyous, but to at least have motivation to try. 

Last week was not the one and that's okay. I needed to sink that low, to write my last blog post and to prove to myself that I could get back up again. I was however given a little nudge from someone who told me to "stand down" on Friday and although, angry at this comment shutting out my over-thinking brain, I now realise those were the words I needed to hear. To conclude that I can't control everything, so I must focus on what I can, like making my bed every day and cooking delicious meals for myself. Example: the home made chicken kiev I created for the first time last week that was delicious (reminder: must write recipe) - proving that even the worst days can be cured through dinner, because even after a hideous day I  can confidently step into my kitchen and know how to bake a lemon drizzle cake or how long a chicken takes to roast. These facts make up for all those small worries I'm unable to shake. Sometimes my kitchen is the only place I feel comfortable and I'm wholeheartedly happy to admit that. Albeit, sometimes I might wish this truth wasn't the case.

If you're wondering, yes I've been cooking a lot more lately. More creatively than ever before. You see playing chef is hobby of mine, something I occasionally regret not pursuing as a career. Maybe one day you might see me on Masterchef concluding that my boat hasn't sailed yet. This love affair with cooking stemmed through my childhood and feels deep rooted into my personality, yet I'm squeamish so some of the tasks surrounding chef life I don't desire to achieve. Other ingrained traits include my clumsiness, timid nature and the biggie, my dry sense of humour.

For a few years I think I managed to forget that our personalities don't stop growing when we leave our teenage years behind. Lockdown season one taught me a lot about that, all undone now I might add. I thought then that I wanted to be self-employed but wasn't career-driven, that Autumn was my favourite season and I loved my own company. But, when thinking back now I'm able to remove my rose-tinted glasses and see that my positive mindset was simply fuelled by stability at work and the warmth of Spring motivating me to rise every day with happiness, money in the bank and a new blog just formed. 

This time around, unemployed and far more hard-headed, I've accumulated what feels like a wealth of new traits for better or worse in just over one month of 2021 havoc. Such traits include my patience or lack of, which has ultimately been tested beyond words. I've also found a level of ambition I didn't think would be possible to acquire, as I await my new job which might actually stem into some sort of career. I'm also less frugal than I thought or, at least I've had to adjust my mindset and prioritized that sometimes pizza = happiness. I miss people so much too. I've also realised that I'm lazier than I should be and that's not always due to a downpour of bad mental health. Often even on the sunniest days where I'm feeling a level of optimism that's unusual, all I still want to do is stay in bed watching old episodes of Scrubs. And, I do just that. Only stirring from my duvet when absolutely necessary. I have no shame. Oh and, most importantly Autumn is beautiful but, Summer has my heart.

Yet, longing for sultry sunshine on my skin, I look out this window today feeling less lost than January. Still confused and worried about what lies ahead and when, but allowing myself to enjoy time at home. To embrace the fact that I'm safe here. Tucked away down in my quiet cul-de-sac, feeling thankful to live in such a wonderful light home, with a loving partner and an abundance of family just a phone call away whatever the weather.

I'm learning that we all feel abandoned sometimes. These days that are reaching their momentous twelve month milestone have been testing, full of financial instability for many including myself, and so much concern about when the bad news might end. It's not easy to feel hopeful, but light can be found on the darkest of days. Enjoy food you love, watch programmes that make you laugh, cry or both and, just do what you can to feel good in some way every day. Remember, the snow never settles for too long and Spring is on the horizon.

Moving forward I'm hoping to continue being creative with my cooking, writing when the headspace fits, communicating more online and, just being more open in every conversation I find myself in, instead of shying away. I'm going to love my life more, unlocking value in my days and finding gratitude for all I currently have to hold onto.

I sat in the bath for over an hour and it didn't cure my bad mood. A true story.

I'm not glamourising anything here.

I've been trapped within my own over-thinking over-anxious brain for over a month now, and I don't know how much longer I stand it. I certainly didn't plan for such an extended absence of purpose. 

I've always been this way. Someone who worries too often about the small details most others can shrug off. I talk and talk and talk myself in circles until the basic truths become warped, confused and totally out of sight. It's quite honestly unbearable when you spend so many hours in the day all alone. 

You should know I'm an introvert at heart. I value my own space and need time alone to find my peace at the end of every day. But, how much time can someone spend in their own company without going utterly nuts?! Seriously, I'm asking. Not for a friend. For me. I need to know because I'm crying daily at the moment. Watching my bank balance dwindle as I plan which bills I'll pay this month and which will have to wait. I know I'm not alone but please hear me out.

I'm praying for better brighter days and know that Spring is on the way, but that doesn't stop me from feeling insane now quite honestly. You can manifest, have words with yourself, reach out to loved ones, try out every self-care technique in the book and still, sometimes it's never going to be enough. The dark moments still roll in much more than any good, swallowing you whole, taking your partner down with you.

I've read every motivational quote, chopped off my hair in moments of true sadness, baked ugly cakes I didn't dare to share on the internet, ranted endlessly to my partner, made spreadsheets and financial forecasts,  chased countless emails and, concluded patience is what I need. A trait I don't possess in any facet, but something I'm told will be my only saviour through these current hardships.

I trust the timing of my life entirely, and I feel so much security from those I love around me, but all of the reassurance in the world won't do when you feel so stagnant. Empty and lost. Yet spiralling. Wondering when on earth will it all fall into place? Will I ever reach my debt free ambitions and find my path?! Because I'm 28 now and I didn't think I'd be having such conversations with myself. I didn't want to write content like this that would form into never ending rants or arguments with myself. But, this is real. This is my life currently and I vowed to share it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. 

Well here it is. 

I'm fresh out of an underwhelming bubble bath and back in bed. Just me and utter silence. No passing trains today, no neighbour playing the saxophone and no birds chirping outside. Bolognese is cooking away packed full of red wine and, whilst typing these thoughts, I've slowly shimmied down this bed and under my blanket. It's time for another afternoon of bad day time TV and Candy Crush. 

You might dream of lazy moments like this when you're cooped up and overwhelmed with work, but trust me when I say there's so much comfort to be found when you know another paycheck is on the way. Days like these are wonderful, healing and calm when you need to rest. But, when the world feels busy and you feel useless, the feeling of nothingness couldn't be worse. I suppose what I want to say is that I'll never take for granted another penny. I can't wait for the day I can buy the items I so desperately need like new underwear, good conditioner, a hairbrush and ice cream. Ben and Jerry I need you more every day.

I trust that this fog will disperse soon, and I will emerge from this rut again in time for warmer weather. I simply wish I had more information. More than anything I desperately wish I could appreciate my time and enjoy the comfort of being at home safe during a pandemic. Instead, however I find myself feeling unhinged. Wondering whether quitting my job caring for those dying of COVID was worth the risk after all. I'm also beyond grateful to have found myself so lucky to find a new job I think I'm going to love in the first place, whenever my start date arises. It feels like it never will. My thoughts are spiralling again right?

I suppose like many my life has stopped completely. There's no moving forward but, I'm thankful to not be moving backwards either. I just want this new normal to end right this second. I'm of course grateful for a roof over my head and a warm home to wake up in. However, I want to tell you that I can afford my next food shop and that, I can't say for certain. Money in running dry and I don't know how to not feel stressed about that.