Jade has been one of my favourite writers for quite some time now and someone I'm pleased to call a friend. In recent years I've watched her blog become a brand and go from strength to strength, which I'm so proud of.
I'm obsessed with everything about this inspiring creative for so many reasons and, love her honesty when it comes to life with autism. Jade breaks down barriers and builds a loyal following through her honest and opinionated approach to discussing mental health and autism awareness. As someone who struggles with a learning disability and anxiety, I find her content so refreshing and relatable. In fact, through the years she's personally helped me find confidence within myself, helping me to stay motivated when I wanted to stop.
The future is bright for Jade Marie and it's so exciting to watch.
What inspired you to start blogging?
I actually found the blogging world by accident when one of my friends shared a blog post to her Facebook page, as before that I didn't even know that blogs were a thing.
I realised that blogging could be a way for me to follow my passion for writing, while being able to do some good and education people on the realities of mental health and, life as an autistic woman.
Being autistic and struggling with a list of mental health conditions myself, I wanted to try to help people feel less alone, pass along the tips and advice that have worked for me, and hopefully educate people about autism and mental health at the same time. Even in 2020 there are still so many stereotypes and misconceptions, especially around autism in women, so I wanted to do what I could to help change the conversation.
How would you sum up your brand in a few words?
Cosy. Quirky. Honest
What's one lesson you've learnt from blogging?
There are so many lessons blogging has taught me, but the main one would probably me that I am enough.
I've spent such a large part of my life being bullied and talked down to, that my self confidence was rock bottom by the time I left school. But, since I started my blog, I've realised that all the things I had been told over the years weren't true.
I've built up an amazing and kind community of readers who enjoy listening to me ramble on about whatever pops into my head that day, when all through school I was told that no one would ever like me, and that I was too weird to make friends.
Don't get me wrong, I still have days when it's nothing but self doubt and anxiety over putting myself out there online. But, I've got a collection of the nice things people have said saved on my phone, which I read to remind myself of just how far I've come whenever I start doubting myself and my blog.
What aspect of blogging didn't you anticipate?
It sounds daft, but I didn't realise just how difficult setting up and running my own website would be.
I wasn't really one for going on the internet much growing up, and unlike most people my age, I never even had a MySpace account. All I had was a Bebo that I would remember to go on for a few minutes once a week, and then a Facebook page which I made and then promptly forgot about for the next few years.
When I first went self-hosted with my blog and had to figure out hosting, domain names, themes etc, it was a nightmare! I broke my blog three times just trying to change the theme, and to this day I still don't know how I managed to fix it...
Luckily, I've learnt a few things over the past 5 years, and I'm actually not too bad at running my website now. I managed to change my theme over at the beginning of the year without breaking anything, so I call that progress.
Do you have any long term blog ambitions or plans you can share?
I'm actually working on something I've wanted to launch for a long time now, which is setting up a mental health membership alongside my blog.
It's called What is Normal, and will include resources and courses around a wide range of topics, guest speakers and teachers, who will be giving talks on conditions that they personally have, and also a private community on Slack where you can talk about your experiences, make friends and ask for advice.
I'm also working on turning my autism awareness workshops into online courses and live training. While I love the idea of being able to give one to one teaching and personalised workshops to businesses, COVID coming along has made me realise that I need a back up option for when travelling in person isn't an option.
Tell us something about yourself entirely separate from your blog?
I'm sure it's something I've mentioned before on the blog or social media, but I'm a huge Marvel fan.
My grandad has quite a few original comics from back when he was young, and when I was little he would let me read them, as long as he was there with me to supervise of course. Then when Iron Man came out when I was 14, he took me to see it and it became our thing to go watch each new film in the cinema together.
Unfortunately, since my nan started to get dementia, he's been unable to leave her alone as he's the one who looks after her full time, we've not been able to go see the later films together. So instead, I always try to go see the new films as close to open day as possible, and then afterwards I go around to see him and tell him all about it; it's not ideal but, it's the best we can do for now.Although I'm glad he wasn't with me when I watched Endgame, as I was an emotional wreck at that film!
Want to know what to read?
Some of my favourites include:-
Sitting here in the warmth of a morning bubble bath, Hayley Williams playing on the speakers and green tea by my side I realise, I'm not ready for lockdown to end.
Although shops, hair salons, bars, and restaurants are reopening, I'll be sticking to my own bubble thank you very much. You can find me venturing out for a food shop or even, to pick up a takeaway from my favourite small business but, other than that my life will remain for the most part in solitude. I feel sad about it but, anxiety has me fearing a second wave and I'm not ready to pretend everything is normal.
Regardless of my fears and anxiety relating to all things COVID, I've learnt a lot throughout the pandemic and feel I'm coming out the other side new and improved.
So what exactly have I learnt??
I can take care of myself more than I thought
At the beginning of this hell we call lockdown I was slightly worried about how I'd cope spending so much time alone. I wondered if I'd find myself bored senseless, sneak back into a depression, or would flourish through the madness. I can confirm that I've had the latter experience.
I've had some dark moments and days when anxiety consumed my every thought but, I haven't struggled as much as I expected. I know how to cook a decent meal for myself, what I need to feel good and when to take time out when I'm a little stressed. I've been able to pick myself up a lot, create routines, to-do lists, and ways of working that work for me. This blog has truly been my saviour too. Without this creative outlet and the community I've found I might have crumbled.
I used to spend too much money on unnecessary things
If you looked at my bank statements you'd be shocked to see how much I loved going out for brunch and the sorry state that left my finances in.
I've always been good with spending but, I do have a little debt called an overdraft I'm still working on paying off and, a credit card I've just cleared (woo!). But, brunch or well, going out for any meal has always been quite high on my agenda, so when someone asks if I'm available for food I always respond with YES and end up spending more than I have because I deserve a starter and a main, maybe even a side too and probably a pudding.
Although, I must admit it wasn't just food I'd throw money at. I love candles, defusers and, anything that can make my house smell impeccable without me having to lift a finger. I'm a sucker for rhubarb scented things and cacti, so I'd always come home from a trip to town with something new. I also have a fondness for an M&S food hall, so arriving home with something fancy to rustle up for dinner became a frequent treat.
What I'm saying is, since lockdown began I've become more cautious with my spending because obviously I haven't been able to access these luxuries and, I've realised how silly some of my habits had become. Of course, it's lovely to decorate your home with little trinkets and items from Paperchase or Tiger but, don't make every trip into town an opportunity to redecorate your living room. Marks and Sparks is a wonderful place too but again, their food should be seen as a treat and not a regular occurrence in the Collins household...especially when your salary just about pays the bills.
Going freelance is scarier than I anticipated
Stupidly this realisation hit me the hardest. My business degree did me no favours on this one to be honest.
Why didn't I realise that going self-employed wasn't easy? We all have to start from somewhere but, I never really sat down and created a structured plan. I never came up with a brand name, colour scheme, logo idea, target audience, social media account, or website until I registered and shouted to the entire world that I was self-employed now. What on earth was I thinking?
It's been a huge mess and learning experience for me. There have been many meltdowns and nights clenching my jaw, wondering what I'm doing - which is why I've taken some time out.
After a breakdown and difficult talk with my partner, I decided to stop overthinking and get back to this blog I love, whilst figuring out how I want to approach working for myself. I've decided to focus on creating my Kindly Kate newsletter, invest my hours in the blog and, pick up my little side project in a month or so.
It's all going to happen and fall into place eventually but, I need to get my head around things and come up with a plan that works. I have a top-secret brand name now that I'm loving and am getting there with planning but, the process for me personally being ready to put myself out there and get my first paid client is a little way off yet.
That I'm Lucky
Lucky because I've been able to work part-time as normal throughout this pandemic and, so has my partner. Life for us has remained the same in so many ways and the changes we've had to make have been minor.
I'm also feeling lucky because of where we live. Moving house last year and having a spacious garden with kind neighbours and a quiet community has been so lovely. I couldn't imagine still living in our shoebox flat with neighbours we hated, constant noise and missed post because whatever courier could never find our front door. I can't imagine living anywhere else and I'm so grateful that I managed to snap up this property quickly without the knowledge of my partner - he was a little pissed at the time but, he thanks me now.
I have moments where I'm Instagram obsessed, endlessly scrolling through and commenting on everything but, for the majority I'm becoming less concerned about being present all the time.
I've touched upon this subject previously and since then my life online has taken a significant shift. After admitting that I felt addicted to my phone, I took the decision to turn off all notifications on Twitter, Instagram, my emails, WhatsApp, my blog and, I also deleted the Facebook app all together.
I didn't make this decision because I felt overwhelmed, I did it because I felt like I was trapped. Always looking down at my screen and never focusing on real life moments with my partner. Every day trip became an Instagram worthy moment, every evening sat watching TV turned into an excuse to reply to messages and, every morning I'd wake up and look at my phone before acknowledging my love. I became obsessed with my life online and my real life connections began to crumble. The success of creating a blog late last year and the assumption that people expected me to reply to them immediately became too much. Yet, no one was actually expecting me to be present constantly - I put the strain and pressure on myself and, that needed undoing.
When I decided to rid my phone of notifications I didn't know how long it would last or, whether it would be a success. I just wanted to try. To share my energy between my life online and what's going on right in front of me. To find balance and ease my restless mind.
Full transparency - the first few weeks of having notifications off was a challenge. There were times when I fell into a trap of refreshing my feed to see if someone had replied to my message or comment but, as times gone by its all become effortless. In fact, I've found myself leaving the house without my phone and not missing it. I've spent entire days only tapping unlock if I'm expecting an important text and, I've watched entire series on Netflix without simultaneously holding my phone in my left hand.
It's been six months now and I don't see myself going back. I actually like having the option to check my socials but, also knowing that it can all wait. The pressure has officially been lifted and life has resumed. It feels good to take a step back and feel present in every moment. To know that nothing is as valuable as my relationships and that this phone of mine does not control my universe. It's a powerful little thing with the ability to help me achieve my ambitions but, it's not the most important thing in my life. Not even close. Maybe not even in my top 10.
Truthfully I don't miss my old attitude or the notifications, I like being unavailable and, this past weekend was a testament to that. I checked in on Instagram maybe once of twice but, I spent most of my time enjoying glorious sunshine with my partner. We had a BBQ, drank gin, played board games, went to the beach, ate popcorn and watched movies in bed. During none of this did I contemplate that something might be happening online that could ever be more important than these treasured moments.
I think it's safe to say I'm beginning to feel JOMO - joy of missing out and, I'm here for it! This headspace is a wonderful place to be. It's as though I have my freedom back. I can choose how I spend my time and there's no need to rush. Life waits for me.
I'm seeing more and more influencers by the week doing similar too. Signing off on Friday nights with a tweet or an Instagram story explaining their plans for the weekend and, how they won't be back until Monday. Turning off notifications all together and engaging online when they're willing and able.
It's a glorious thing to see so many taking back the power and getting some space. Life online is overwhelming sometimes, we all have our limits and, it's easy to get lost and forget what's truly fundamental to our well-being. Having the confidence and ability to say this is too much or I need a break is a big deal and something becoming more accepting through the discussions about mental health and self-care.
With everything that's happened / is continuing to happen this year, I think some time offline is nothing but a good thing that we all require moving forward. It doesn't mean we can't become successful bloggers or are letting our online images slip, it just means that we're human and, can accept that switching off is an act of respect for our own sanity.
Where do I begin with Beka?
This green haired girl just gets me. From her recent hair drama to her love for the Sims, I feel like I've made a real connection with this Edinburgh based resident.
Beka currently has a travel blog where she also focuses on lifestyle and sustainability however, during lockdown Beka's direction took a slight change, focusing her attention on YouTube. Through Beka's fun attitude she's been able to format a laid-back space for viewers to feel nostalgia whilst laughing a lot, which I love from watching her content.
Did I mention that her dog Alfie is the cutest? Well, it's true. He's adorable.
What inspired you to start blogging?
I'd tried to start a blog loads of times when I was a teenager, but I never actually went ahead with any of them in the end. I don't think I really knew what to do lol. A couple of years ago I was scrolling through Instagram and realised someone I followed had a blog (Esther Wyse, if any of you are curious) and I thought, why don't I give it another go? I was in my third year of uni and honestly, anything was a great distraction from all the work I was trying to avoid doing. That's when I started Beka Daisies, although then it was known as 'astrobeks' lmao. I found this amazing community on Twitter and everything I've learnt from blogging so far is all down to the lovely people I follow there and have met along the way. I don't think I wouldn't stuck with blogging again if I hadn't found this community - everyone is so kind and supportive.
How would you sum up your brand in a few words?
I don't think I'd be selling my brand well if I used the word 'trash' but it was the first thing that popped into my head. I'd say: sustainable, adventurous, silly and warm. I'd like to think I give off some warm, kind vibes on my blog.
What's one lesson you've learnt from blogging?
Not to overwork yourself, because quality is most definitely better than quantity. I used to post consistently twice a week, but a lot of the time I was writing my blog posts either the night before or the day it was due to go live. I'm not ashamed of any of my older posts, but I can definitely tell now which ones had more effort put into them, and which ones were written the morning of. I used to feel incredibly guilty when I didn't have anything to post as well. But, what I've learnt, especially since taking over a years break from the blog, is that people who love your content will come back no matter when you post.
What aspect of blogging didn't you anticipate?
Honestly, social media and self-promotion. Sounds a bit silly now, but I didn't realise how much effort you have to put into promoting yourself in order to get your blog out there. Trying to think of a new way to say "hey come and read this blog post I've been tweeting links to for the last 7 days" every. single. day. is SO hard and, it was months before I created a Pinterest and Instagram account for my blog, too. As if I thought self-promoting on Twitter was difficult Instagram and Pinterest was a whole new game.
Do you have any long term blog ambitions or plans you can share?
A few months ago I would've said that I'd love to be known as a blog for travelling Scotland, but seeing as travel has come to a halt right now there's not a lot of content I can make. Maybe in a few years time I'll be on my way to making this happen! For now, I'm just focussing on building up a YouTube gaming channel, which is another big hobby of mine.
Tell us something about yourself entirely separate from your blog?
I suppose I'll follow on from the last question! I recently started a gaming channel (which I've wanted to do for years, and I really regret not starting sooner). I usually play games that are nostalgic to me, like the Sims 4 or Voodoo Vince for example, but I've found some other cool games on Steam, too. It's more of a hobby for me just now, but it would be cool to make something of myself from it one day!
Want to know what to read or watch from Beka?
Some of my favourites include:-
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